It was supposed to have been a romantic weekend get away. They had reserved a motel room at their favorite hide-a-way. But one argument had led to another and suddenly he found himself at the motel lobby asking for a second room. Ironically, he was given the room next door. Marching upstairs to their room, he picked up his bags announcing that he would be next door and slammed the door behind him. And so there they lay separated only by a thin wall and their hurt feelings which prevented each of them from opening the intervening doors between them.
Our relationships with others are like adjoining motel rooms which have double doors between them. You can’t make another person open his or her door because each door is locked from the inside, but you are responsible for whether you unlock and open your door. I can choose to open my door to permit forgiveness and love to flow freely or I can choose to be responsible for nurturing a grudge that breaks down my relationships by erecting a barrier of unforgiveness.
Have you ever run into someone who says, “I can’t forgive _______, I’ve been hurt too much” or “this is just the way that I am”? As long as that person believes that they can’t forgive ... they won’t forgive.
In Matthew 18, Jesus told a story that illustrates how God perceives the unforgiving person. Jesus described a king who forgave one of his servants of an enormous debt which the servant had no hope of ever repaying. Having been forgiven and released from his debt, that servant then went out and refused to forgive a small debt a fellow servant owed him. When the king learned of this he “turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.” Then Jesus concluded, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." Matthew 18:35
We must always be a people eager to forgive those who sin against us. Long-standing grudges are not appropriate characteristics for those people who wear the name of Christ. And so, as God continues to mold our Christian family into the image of His Son, let’s make sure that each of us is a forgiving person. Let’s be a people who take the initiative in opening our side of the relationship.
“Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times a day, and seven times turns to you, saying, 'I repent;' you should forgive him." Luke 17:3-4
Barry Newton © 1998
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