Although you can not read in the Bible about the slaughter of the Reubenites, Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh by their fellow ancient Israelites, it almost happened. The events that averted that blood bath are valuable in preventing today's "personality conflicts."
Some Swirling Forces of Conflict
Through the wilderness experiences God had deeply etched upon Israel's consciousness an important lesson: sin in the camp affects the whole community, not just the individual. With this principle deeply ingrained, the ten and a half tribes were justifiably alarmed as the eastern tribes violated God's clear commands when they erected a large altar for offering sacrifices. In Deuteronomy 12:4-14 God had plainly forbidden Israel to offer their sacrifices wherever they might desire. Scripture was clear. They were to only sacrifice at the place where God would designate. To the western tribes this flagrant violation of God's command was obvious.
With the two and a half tribes openly defying the LORD's commands, what would God do to Israel? The tribes west of the Jordan River knew they could not permit such rebellion to be a part of God's community. They knew God's commands. They could see the altar poised to receive sacrifices. There was no doubt in their minds what needed to be done. The ten tribes gathered for war and most significantly, they were absolutely convinced that they were doing what was right.
The Path Toward Peace
Fortunately, the following events did not unfold along the commonly well-trodden path toward open hostile conflict. Instead of either taking the action of unleashing toxic passive-aggressive behavior or launching a full battle assault, these tribes sent some of their tribal chiefs to simply listen. Even though there was no doubt in their own minds, before they took action these representatives asked some questions and then they just listened. Joshua 22:13-20
The two and a half tribes quickly explained that the purpose of the altar was not for sacrifices. Rather it was a witness to their solidarity with the rest of Israel.
At this point something really beautiful transpired. The tribal chiefs did not insist upon their own interpretation of the altar. They did not say, as is so common in conflicts, "You're wrong. We know what you were really thinking." Instead, in humility they humbly and joyfully accepted this message. War had been averted.
Observations
Joshua 22 was not written to teach us about conflict resolution. But it does powerfully illustrate three simple ideas which could dramatically reduce relationship conflict in today's world.
1) Since we must interpret the actions of others, we need to realize that our understanding can be 100% wrong even when we are 100% confident we know what is going on.
2) There is the need to listen before speaking and taking action. Proverbs 18:13 describes the folly and shame of responding before listening. The purpose of such listening is not to gather ammunition for the next attack, rather the goal is to seek a genuine understanding of the other's ideas and values. A response needs to be based upon accurate comprehension, not personal supposition.
3) Rather than insist upon our understanding and claim to be mind readers who know the truth about what others are thinking, we need to be humble in accepting the claims of others. Love always trusts. Love hopes all things.
Barry Newton, Copyright © 2001
Some articles which may be of interest:
Women Are Complicated; Men Are Impossible (Understanding Others)
Does Knowing What Is Right Produce Doing What Is Right?
The Conflict of Change: "Entering New Territory Like A Pharisee or Sadducee"