Perhaps you have seen those single frame newspaper cartoons "Love Is ..." I'd like to share a few verbal ones. Those who go through counseling with me are often required to memorize the following definition of love: "love is deciding to seek the well-being of someone as God would define well-being and then doing it." It's actually quite simple. Anyone can chose to do it.
She walked into the room. There on the floor lay his clothes from yesterday. She had specifically asked him to put those clothes into the laundry. Was this the zillionth time he had failed? She could feel the anger building. The temptation to shred him into tiny little pieces and make him feel absolutely worthless was enormous.
The decision to seek another's well being is not an easy one when they keep messing up. But she knew that such demeaning and humiliating treatment would not be for his well being. And so she began to think of a creative way to teach him. Love is patient. 1 Corinthians 13:4 If this doesn't seem realistic ... perhaps you have not seen one who loves.
There was something about her that was a bit odd. Was it her clothes? Her mannerisms? Her quietness? Whatever it was, after just a few weeks at school she was close to the bottom of the social ladder. To talk to her meant that others would associate you with her. This could call one's own social position into question.
The decision to seek another's well being is not an easy one when it might cost you something. But one girl knew that this new misfit at school needed a friend, and so she introduced herself. Love is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4 If this doesn't seem realistic ... perhaps you have not seen one who loves.
When dad came home one night he discovered that his neighbor, who had just returned from an exotic vacation, had purchased a new car! This was going to make him look like "the poor folks" on the street.
The decision to seek another's well being is not an easy one when they seem to have all of the fun stuff. But he knew that all people, including his neighbor, need to feel appreciated and so he went over to congratulate him on his new car. Love does not envy. 1 Corinthians 13:4 If this doesn't seem realistic ... perhaps you have not seen one who loves.
It had been another long day. Evening had finally come. His room was dimly lit by the colorful glowing screen of the computer monitor. Although his body was solidly seated in a chair, he was in another world. The world was at his finger tips. Suddenly, his "paradise" was shattered once again with the words, "honey, I need some help."
The decision to seek another's well being is not an easy one when you are doing something you enjoy. Unfortunately, self-centeredness comes all too easy. But love is not self-seeking nor is it easily angered. 1 Corinthians 13:5 Because he loved her, he chose to get up and go see what she needed. If this doesn't seem realistic ... perhaps you have not seen one who loves.
She had dreamed of a knight in shining armor. She had thought he would be her knight. And so the reality of his imperfections and failings were a hard lesson. He was not abusive or particularly bad to her, he was ... well, more like a slice of plain toast with some warts.
The decision to seek another's well being is not an easy one when others have repeatedly disappointed you. But she knew that he was her husband and that she had chosen to love him. And so she walked into that living room focused on "giving" and "caring" rather than reminding him of his inadequacies. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:6 If this doesn't seem realistic ... perhaps you have not seen one who loves.
He had everything imaginable. In fact, He created everything that exists. If ever there was One who deserved praise and glory, it was Him. But those who were created in His image were in desperate trouble ... and there was only one solution available to save them without compromising Himself.
The decision to actively love by seeking the well-being of someone is not an easy one. Fortunately, God is love and so because of His love He sent His only begotten Son to save us. If this doesn't seem realistic ... you have not seen the One who loves you.
Other Articles Which Might Be Of Interest:
Abusive Relationships & Living for God
What Does A True Caring Friend Look Like?
Choices Within Your Reach That Affect Your Relationships (Love Can Change How You View Someone Else)
Barry Newton, Copyright © 1998