That Affect Your Relationships
It started out so innocently. Somebody, perhaps thinking of himself but not necessarily so, decided to take a particular course of action. To most other people, the course of action might have appeared reasonable and innocuous. What was done? It could have been planning to spend one's holidays here instead of there, it could have been eating apple pie instead of pumpkin pie or making a comment about a recent purchase. It could be eating at McDonald's instead of Burger King or asking that person to work on this project. It could be just about anything.
But what happened next wasn't so innocuous. Perhaps it was a friend, a relative, a spouse or even a Christian who then viciously accused that one with "you did this on purpose to hurt me!"
(Statements such as this indicate the real point of contention which is often the interpretation which one gives for why another person engaged in a particular action. It would be comical if it were not so serious and true to life. One person is insisting on knowing the reasons within another person's heart why he or she behaved in such a way. Unfortunately, when someone is convinced and insists on believing that "I know you did this to hurt me," then communication breaks down, trust begins to fail and love can be threatened.)
Within a few minutes, an argument erupted that soon turned nasty. Feelings were hurt. Things were said which should not have been said. A relationship was broken. Sin does that. Sin also makes sure that it stays this way.
From that time on, no matter what the other one did do or didn't do, everything was interpreted as coming from evil motives and intentions. If one didn't talk to the other ... "it's because he is avoiding me." If one did talk to the other then "he isn't being sincere. He's just a manipulative hypocrite."
"Self" did not waste any time in drawing up the battle lines and appointing the commanders: My Interpretation, My Hurt, My Justice, and My Pride to oversee this doomed relationship. To be sure, the gentle servants of love, forgiveness, understanding, mercy and humility were all banished from the heart - at least in regards to this relationship.
We choose which path we will walk down in regards to our relationships. We can choose to allow ourselves to walk squarely down the middle of the fleshly course of least resistance, or we can choose to walk down a path not characterized by the flesh but by God's Spirit. Consider where His footprints have gone, footprints which have led to restored relationships between people and with God.
When one chooses to live by the Spirit, one reaps the fruits of the Spirit such as love, joy and peace. When one chooses to live by the flesh one can expect to reap the appropriate fruits of bitterness, anger and broken relationships. To live so as to actively seek the welfare of one's neighbors is not only good for them, but it also does each of us a world of good too. But this pragmatic reason is not why a Christian should choose to live by the Spirit. Rather, the motivation to make the choice to live this way occurs when one submits to the Lord as one's Master. The benefits which come from living by the Spirit are simply a wonderful bonus.
Other Articles That Might Be of Interest:
The Downward Spiral (Relationships Suffering from Negative Interpretations)
Women Are Complicated; Men Are Impossible (Understanding Others)
What Does it Mean to Live as a Christian? Part 1: To Break Down My Idols
Character Driven, Not Jungle Driven
Barry Newton, Copyright © 1998