In our age of popular books packed with a plethora of information from various counselors, godly wisdom has sometimes if not often been forgotten. Wisdom involves knowing what is really important in life and therefore how one should live each minute of each day. What principles contained in God's Word can help us in preparing the next generation for truly living life?
1. Know The Goal In Raising Children
Parents follow many different goals in raising their children. Some parents have the goal of "allowing my children to discover their own path." If this is a parent's goal, a parent might either provide a certain level of guided exposure or simply take a "hands off" approach. Proverbs, however, warns against this approach with the insight that the child who is left to himself will bring shame to his mother. Proverbs 29:15b Unfortunately, how many countless times has the truth of this proverb been proven true?
Other parents, who define successful children as those who will attain to a certain level in business, or athletic achievement, etc., will deliberately provide specific training enabling their offspring to master what they consider to be the necessary skills for realizing the desired goal. Accordingly, priority may be placed upon one's formal and/or cultural education, athletic ability, musical appreciation and skill, financial acuity, multiple language capability, etc. Although such skills are useful, they do not constitute that goal which our children are most in need of pursuing. Jesus made this abundantly clear when he asked what value is there in achieving everything that the world has to offer, if one ends up losing one's own soul? He continued this line of reasoning by raising the question: even if one were to achieve all that the world has to offer, what can one give in exchange for one's soul? Mark 8:36-37.
If I am going to allow God's Word to shape how I raise my children, what does it say the goal should be? Proverbs teaches that the most valuable commodity one can obtain is wisdom; it is more precious and yields better returns than gold or silver. Proverbs 3:13-15; 16:16 And what does wisdom teach about what is central to living life? That answer is: to reverence God and to keep his commandments. Proverbs 1:7; Ecclesiastes 12:13 From the Law, Deuteronomy 6:5-7 echoes this objective when it focuses the entire goal of one's life upon loving God with all of ones being. Who are successful children? They are those kids who grow up to honor, reverence and love God with all of their being. This means that, if a young man or woman grows up to become a very influential business person, musician, athlete or a master of the social graces but does not love God with all of his or her being, that young adult never rose above complete failure. Does this seem too strong of a conclusion? Such thinking simply reflects that sharp contrast of values and hence perception which exists between God and the world. Luke 9:23-26; 12:15, 29-31, 21; 16:10-15 Conversely, if a child grows up to thoroughly love God, but lacks prestige in the social world, the business world and never amounted to much in sports, then that young adult is a total success. To think this way represents walking down a path less traveled. Such a perspective means that those values and priorities guiding a parent in making decisions will be very different from the typical family next door.
Since success is defined by achieving a particular goal, if the ultimate origin of a goal is from humanity's roulette wheel, then it is temporary in scope and ultimately worthless. If on the other hand, God is the origin for the goal one is seeking to achieve, then one's goal is anchored in the eternal. True success is found in that goal of having one's heart respond to God out of love and a healthy reverence.
2. Know How To Raise A Child To Love God
A couple of principles immediately jump out of the biblical text. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, the parent is instructed to continually impress and teach the goal of loving God as one goes about the daily routine. The principle of loving God was not to be compartmentalized into that religious box of "when I go to worship God." Rather, God was to be one's all pervasive Rock of Gibraltar, Compass for life and the devotion of one's heart.
Although not specifically applied to parents, a second biblical principle is to be a living example of the goal (1 Peter 5:3; Phil. 3:17; 4:9; ). Although Christian parents will probably say "the most important thing in life is one's relationship with God," children quickly learn if this really is what is most important to their parents. If parents skip church services because of a conflict with some other event or perhaps someone simply doesn't feel like going today, but then they insist that the child study or attain certain events regardless of how they might feel because "this is important for your future," guess what the child has learned from their parents about what his or her parents really consider to be most important in life? Just as Jesus serves as a model of Christian beliefs, values and behavior for the Christian community, so too parents WILL teach their children their beliefs, values and behavioral styles simply by the pattern of decisions which they make and what they talk about. It is not enough to occasionally teach a child about God in Sunday school while the parents dedicate themselves to talking and living sports all week long. It is not enough to claim that God is most important in my life when all of one's decisions are ultimately made by "the bottom line." Children will learn what is most important to their parents. Typically, children will adopt their parents basic set of values, whether those values reflect God or the world.
There is a child who is a blessing to one's parents. It is that child who knows how to live because he or she is wise. To fear the Lord by reverencing and worshiping God is the beginning of wisdom.
Barry Newton, Copyright © 1999
Other Articles That Might Be of Interest:
Why Am My Kids Like That? (Parental Modeling As A Preventative Measure)
Godly Leadership in the Family
Our Decisions and Values Create "Life Momentum"
Choices Within Your Reach That Affect Your Relationships (Love Can Change How You View Someone Else)
Is the Bible Relevant for Modern Living?
|
Central Church of Christ Home Page |